>get my hair trimmed. I decided some time ago to pursue a non-interference policy with my hair. I decided it was best to leave it be and not put it through all the chemical processes women seem to be so fond of these days. My hair is brown, and I’m cool with that. I’m actually more than cool with that, if for no other reason than to avoid the blonde’brunette stereotypes. Actually, it is my theory that only 10% of blondes are actually blonde anyway. And I’ve noticed the other 90% have very unhappy-looking hair. I would prefer to have happy hair, as the happier it is the less I have to deal with it. I just wash it with normal shampoo (spending $20.00 on shampoo? Nuh-uh), comb it out, and tie it up. Then I can spend my time watching TV. Working on my doodle painting. Playing with the dogs. Spending time outside the bathroom.
When I go get my hair trimmed, I will see women with more foil on their head than a Thanksgiving turkey. They sit there for an hour whilst their hair is being stripped of all pigment. They do this so they can dump another color on after they’ve bleached it. Which probably takes another hour. The problem with this is you just can’t color your hair once and then never again. Your hair grows out. You see this. The inch of dark hair at the base of the scalp. So to avoid the embarrassment of exposure as a great big hair-lie, you go in every six weeks, dropping $100 a pop to maintain your non-natural hair color. My hair is bargain-basement hair. I spend $15.00 for a trim every few months or so and end up having to use aerosol hair spray in the eyes of the stylists trying to push $200.00 worth of hair products I neither need nor want. I’ll spend the money on art supplies.
My hair usually spends its time in a knot on my head. Hair in my face drives me nuts. Which is why I keep it long. If it were shorter, it wouldn’t fit into a hair tie, and I would be in a perpetual state of irritation. The problem I’m having now is that I’m coming up on 30 and my hair is more than halfway down my back. I think that’s far too long for someone over 25. Just my opinion. My husband disagrees. Men seem to have this archaic prehistorical male-dominated attitude about women’s hair. Every guy I know cringes when I mention cutting my hair, my husband most of all. The funny thing is that when we’re in bed watching TV and my hair happens to inch onto his pillow, he responds with, “hun…can you get your hair out of my face?” Shit-head. I shoud get it cut then leave the disembodied hair on his pillow. Then it would be his problem. Heh. I got a chuckle outta that one.

I am just now realizing I am using way too much brain power on my hair. I think it’s more out of lack of a decent topic than a genuine concern for the growth of dead cells sprouting from my head. Which is all the more reason to not spend hundreds of dollars of shampoo and conditioner; your hair is dead. It’s long beyond caring what the living think of it. Or do to it. But I know if I were fried every six weeks I’d be pretty pissed. But then again, there was that one year in college…

nevermind.

voulez-voulez-vous fried.