I need to be kicked in the face.

Continuing on my narrative involving chatroom torture, allow me to recount an incident in which I entered the room with the intent of speaking in very broken English to even further the supposition that I was not of sound mind. It begins with a goat.

A goat, you say?

A goat.

It goes a little something like this:

“I have goat. Is good goat. Can have goat. Eat goat.”

Usually this is looked upon with some skepticism. People are unsure as to what I mean. When carnivores speak of dining, as say, on steak perhaps, they state that they are going to have steak, not cow. In retrospect, I do not know if in our culture if goat is even consumed as a meat product. But I digress.

“No, you eat goat. Cook goat then eat goat. Is good”.

This is the point when people really start to get upset. I have discovered that most individuals have a problem with repetition. Either engaging in or being subjected to. My husband hates having to repeat himself. The people in the chat rooms hate hearing me repeat the same phrase repeatedly. We can then safely say that I do not have a problem with repetition. Perhaps their problem was not with the repetition, but with the content. Goats. Why should people have any problem with goats? They are a rather reclusive species. They don’t go tromping through your living room, they aren’t exactly what I would call mainstream in the food preparation industry, and whereas there is such a thing as goat’s milk it is not very common. So the whole goat-phobia I do not yet understand. Perhaps I should conduct a survey on goats and see what turns up from it. I could discover that the whole of the United States is completely terrified of hooved animals.

Voulez-voulez-voulez-vous goat.

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