>Of things I dislike. Enjoy.

1. The word “however”. As in, “it looks like a mosquito bite, however, it could be a flesh-eating bacterium…”

2. Flexi-straws that split when you expand them, and you get this half-fluid half-air combo that bulges through your esophagus in the most uncomfortable way.

3. Comments on my blog calling me a “diry little slut”. I wasn’t planning on telling anyone, you.

4. When the Spurs lose to shitty teams.

5. I know I have covered velour jogging suits, but my hate of them has been renewed thanks be to a new mutant strain of the as-of-yet incurable trophy-wife epidemic: the velour jogging suit featuring the wearer’s initial as the zipper pull. Christ help me.

6. Those little animated advertisements on channels like Spike and Comedy Central that appear in the lower left corner of the show you’re currently watching. They’ve even integrated sound effects. Bastards.

7. This one I find more amusing than annoying but here goes: those ads for pharmaceutical companies that go along touting the miraculous benefits of the drug they’re advertising, then possible side effects. Observe: “(name of drug here) may cause nausea, vomiting, headache, gastrointestinal blockage, bleeding from the eyes and ears, paranoia, hair loss, and in extreme cases, has been known to cause people to be hit by a bus. Contact your physician if these side effects persist for longer than a week.”

8. Slow news days. “Why your favorite dog treat can be a danger to your beloved pet. Only on WTF7 news, at 11.”

9. Censors who, rather than just leave a silent pause in place of the profane word, instead dub over a completely new word in a voice quite unlike the actor’s which delivers none of the passion of the original word. “What the (fudge) are you doing?” “I’m gettin this (spit) out of my car.” “Well hurry up. I gotta get home to my (priss) of a girlfriend.”

10. The fact that I went to Barnes & Noble on October 29th and they already had their Christmas shit out. I think it’s the goal of retailers to just obliterate Thanksgiving altogether.

Voulez-voulez-vous mmkay.