>My favorite tea as of late has been yerba mate, a south American gig that not only has the same amount of caffeine as coffee (NOT a fan of coffee…) but has a bunch of other miscallany in it that’s good for you. Or so they say.

So, very stoked was I to learn that Tully’s served yerba mate in regular tea form as well as hot or iced lattes. As I am usually not that into lattes, I preferred the bottled form they sold in the coolers alongside the assortment of Odwalla juices.

However, with the recent piercing of my tongue I have been forced to switch to iced beverages at the direction of my piercer in order to reduce the week or so of swelling that can ensue after having a 12 gauge rod shoved through your tongue. So in lieu of my usual bottled tea I decided to get the latte, soy, iced.

There is a Tully’s across the street from where I work. This is where I would buy my bottled mate. This is where I decided to start trying out the iced yerba mate soy latte.

Yerba mate they can sort of understand.
Yerba mate latte takes a bit of explanation.
Yerba mate soy latte requires a teleconference with South
America as well as the WestSoy corporation.


Finally, finally, they get it.

Until.

I ask for my iced soy yerba mate latte blended.

You know, in a blender.

But the combination of “blended.iced.soy.yerba.mate.latte” just

ABSOLUTELY FREAKS THEM OUT. The entire explanation of my order even without the blended requirement zips out the window and I have to relay my instructions all over again.

The smug-looking barista I have been dealing with does not like me very well, I fear…

What blows my mind is I have ordered this ruddy thing from her at least 6 or 7 times by now and inevitably it requires the same explanation every.single.time.

After I had ordered it a couple times with the same ensuing sighs of exasperation and slamming of tea-making devices around in order to subtlety convey her irritation, they began to explain to me that they didn’t have a way of ringing it up.

???

Uh, it’s on their menu.

I pointed this embarassingly obvious fact out.

Uh, we charge for blending, they say.

???

Are you kidding me?

Huh.

I decided to get to the bottom of this. I called the Tully’s on 5th ave.

“Thank you for calling Tully’s, how can I help you?”

“Hi. Do you have a charge for blending your iced drinks?”

“a charge for blending iced drinks?”

“Yep.”

“Uh…no…?? Why would we?”

Exactly.

Voulez-voulez-vous to be continued…