You may want to bail now.
I try not to do those “oh poor me” blogs, but since I don’t really write in my journal anymore I’m throwing it in here. Deal.

So, a week ago Monday I discovered to my annoyance that the top of my foot had gone numb and I was also unable to lift my foot (as in a toe-tapping motion). As such, when I would walk, I was unable to control the movement of my foot in the “heel to toe” portion of the step and my foot was “kathunking” on the ground. Thought it was weird, told housemates, they ruled that I needed to go to the doctor NOW. Doctor closed. Kira ran me to the ER.

Now, the reason I wasn’t as worried as those around me was that I was also going through an epilepsy med transition which left me with dizziness, unsteadiness, and slurred speech for a few days. Epilepsy meds always make you a bit quirky so I wrote it off as one of the “quirks”. So, hung out at the Swedish ER for four hours with Kira at my side…which was really funny as she used to be a firefighter, trained in EMT-ish stuff, and as such she kept answering the doc’s questions for me since I was poo-paw-ing the whole thing. So, they shone lights in my eyes and whacked my knees and poked me with needles and shot electromagnets in my brain tested my hearing and balance and took blood and called my neurologist at 1 a.m. (which I’m sure he loved) after all this really had no answer except that it was probably foot drop and that if there was no improvement in two days to come back to the ER. Ok, whatever, went home.

Two days later, no improvement, but I didn’t want to go back, so, I didn’t go back. By day 3.5 I was once again told (mostly by my overly-worried mother) to run back to Swedish (at another $100 copay) where I saw a different doctor, who had no more answers than the first, but at least she gave me a brace to keep my toes from dragging on the ground when I walked. Just wish I could get it to fit in my clogs; all I can really wear with it are open back shoes and sandals. Meh.

So, I have an appointment with my new neurologist on Tuesday, where we’re going to discuss increasing my med levels since I’m still having seizures, daily, as well as making a laundry list of what’s been making me so pissy this week. (Here’s where the extreme whining comes in).

So far I’ve got:

– Foot is numb from the base of my toes to about 6 inches up the front of my shin (only on the top and along the inside of the arch, which is why I can still “walk”

– Unable to lift foot (hence the toe-dragging)

– Feelings of heat shooting down my thigh – it’s more like dragging an uber-hot spoon down my leg.

– Hands, feet, parts of my face, top of my head “falling” asleep, tingling, pins & needles.

– Hands, feet, ALWAYS cold.

– Headaches

– Hands occasionally weak

– Knees hurt (but that’s from walking all wonky)

– My spelling and typing is for SHIT (prolly the meds)

– Back pain along spine

– Blurry eyes that come and go

– Insomnia

– Occasional breathing issues…feels like a mild version of the asthma I had as a kid…

– Muscle tremors in legs and eyelids (yeah, I know…weird)…kinda twitches under the skin…a la “Aliens”. Waiting for something to burst out. Hope it’s cool.

Anyway, not being an attention whore. Mostly writing this down so I have a record (because they want to know EVERY TINY THING because it can mean SOME BIG THING). Neurologists are anal like that.

Yesterday I did have a small tantrum however. I was waiting for the #8 bus that goes to MLK because it drops me off only 5 blocks from my house unlike the OTHER #8 that only goes to 15th which drops me off 10 blocks from my house). It arrives, I’m waiting to get on, this asshole shoves his way in front of me, hops on, then the bus driver won’t let me on because the bus was full. The next MLK #8 wasn’t due for a half an hour. So, I was forced to take the 15th ave #8 ten minutes later.

Walking the ten blocks home (SO wanted a cab…but broke because of goddamn medical bills), tripped on uneven sidewalk twice because of my damn toes and almost fell on my face. Get home, found out the car I was going to use to go to my babysitting gig (8 blocks away) had been lent to my housemate’s sister. And then…I just lost it. I didn’t mean to, I felt like such a fucking baby, but I hate being so damn dependent on people. I hate not being able to walk everywhere. I mean, I usually walk everywhere. Now I have to ask for rides or borrow cars and I hate it. I feel so fucking crippled. It’s been almost two weeks now. This has to go away. It absolutely has to.

So, Tuesday: neuro, tests (they mentioned possible spinal tap…I said aw hell no…) questions, questions…blah blah blah.

Ok, there’s my whining blog. Share and enjoy.