I’ve come to the realization that Facebook is trying to take control of humanity.

There’s a scene in “The Truman Show” – the end, actually – where after decades of mindless viewers following Truman from conception to adulthood through the medium of television the protagonist finally becomes aware that he has been the the sole source of entertainment for millions of people and, in a grand gesture, he ‘pulls the plug’, as it were.  And these millions of viewers who have been living vicariously through his eyes and neglecting their own existence for more days than they can count, for several pauses, are aghast, disoriented, and bewildered.  And you find yourself hoping that maybe, just maybe, they will hoist themselves off of the sofa and do something meaningful and profound; buy a unicycle. Learn Latin. Get a llama. Something.

But no.  They just change the channel.  Erngh.

My point is this:  whenever there’s what I call “a glitch in the Matrix”, or, to be more concise, whenever the chat list disappears from Facebook, or the masthead goes astray, or people’s oh-so-meaningful posts get sucked into the void, there is widespread panic.  The Facebook wall becomes aflood with posts from people looking for some kind of confirmation, some comfort, that someone else *out there* is also suffering. Please, please tell me your feed isn’t refreshing! Please tell me I’m not alone!!

And if Facebook were to disappear, out of desperation, would we all migrate back to the steely 140-character limit confines of Twitter?  Or even (gasp) Google+?

Ye gods. What has happened?

Facebook has made us addicted, made us twitchy, made us dependent on knowing what each of us is doing every second…and ohmigosh, please let someone have commented on that oh-so-amazing witticism I posted earlier, and did I get invited to that thing? I didn’t? But so-and-so did…does that mean they don’t like me anymore? Why did she/he/they RSVP and not tell me about it? UGH I feel like total CRAP about myself right now! No one LOVES ME! *hiccup* *muffled sob*

Facebook has made us all high schoolers again…and we’re letting it! Sad wankers we are.

I wonder how it would be possible to organize a 24 hour worldwide Facebook boycott.  No posts, no shares, no bloody ‘likes’.  Nothing.  Everyone even goes so far as to sign out of their accounts. No social media at all. Instead, we meet in person. Talk on the phone to hear each other’s voices. Read books made of paper.  Disconnect and reconnect.  Become human again.

Just a thought.

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