Next Stop: Infinity – and beyond!

As much as I enjoy messing with callous and entitled people, I can’t help but wonder if karma is gonna take a big ole chunk outta my ass someday.
Woke up way too early so figured I’d capitalize on the extra daylight and commute in a bit early.
Also to reduce the number of public transit anomalies, as the crazies typically don’t get up this early.

If anything, life reminds me to assume nothing. Regularly.

In the Westlake transit tunnel, waiting, as I had just missed the previous bus to Bellevue.
The train comes through, as well as the 101 (I always see that bus going to the convention center and that’s it. Seems like the most pointless route ever.)
Eventually, a stern-looking, rotund older woman stands next to me, staring at me as if I’d just thrown her cat under the aforementioned 101.

A moment passes. She pokes me on the arm.
Removing the earbuds I have in place to avoid people in these exact scenarios, I look down at her quizzically.

– “Yes…?”
– “Hey! Heeey. Did the train come already?!”

I then decide this woman spends her life in capslock mode.

– “Yes. Yes it did.”
There’s a perfunctory stomping of the foot, some profanity, then the inexplicable:

– “Well, why didn’t you TELL me??”

Praising my innate ability to be a smart-ass on the fly, it doesn’t take me long for this one.

– “I tried, but you never answer your phone”, I said, unapologetically.

I am presented with the look of confusion and borderline panic I was hoping for.

– “What?! Wait, how’d you get my phone number?”

I pulled out the business card for the orthopedist I was given at my appointment yesterday that was conveniently tucked into the side pocket of my backpack. I examined it.

– “Oh! This isn’t your card. Ha! That’s hilarious. My orthopedist is going to be confused by that voicemail…” I let out an “oh I’m just so silly!” giggle.

– “This place is full of fucking crazies!!” She hollers, trotting off.

Yes. Yes it is.

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