>Bryan seems to think the back of my desk chair makes a suitable clothing rack.

I tend to disagree.

Granted, I live under the assumption that any stationary object in our apartment was intended to be a storage site for my various waterproof hiking jackets, but, I am extraordinarily gifted when it comes to double standards.

But in my defense my coats are never intruding on his personal, active space. I usually prefer the vacuum cleaner, unused floor lamps, the back of the sofa.

Although when using the back of the sofa, I must use caution. Not because Bryan uses the sofa. Because that would be included in the realm of his active space, thereby contradicting my above statement, and exposing me as being completely full of shit. Bryan does not use the sofa. No one…no human…uses the sofa. They couldn’t even if they wanted to.

You see, it’s already occupied.

This is Gee. This is Gee on the sofa. This is Gee’s sofa. I think one day she may become permanently affixed to it. I fear that day. It could be messy. I might need a new sofa. And a new Gee. Something tells me I couldn’t find that on eBay.

Preventative measures may be in order. Short of coating my sofa in Teflon I’m not sure what would be most effective. Waxed paper, maybe. Not that it matters. The sofa’s only real function, other than a Gee display case, is to provide balance and mass to the assemblage that is the living room. I tend to think of it as a placeholder for the day when we get another large, overstuffed leather recliner to match the one we currently have. It’s a nice recliner. Great for Spurs games and playing XBox.

Anyway, I’m tired of fighting Bryan for it. So we need to get a new one. And since our living room is an apartment living room, space is not one of it’s attributes. The sofa, Gee’s sofa, must go.

Preparations are already in progress. Right now I am working on how to best communicate this to Gee. I am not sure how she is going to take it. I’ve tried to talk to her about it, but I don’t think I’m getting through to her. We just don’t relate the way we used to.

I think it may be denial.

I’m just wondering where the hell I’m gonna put my coat now.

voulez-voulez-vous denial.