>Yesterday, at work, at approximately 9am, I came up with the brilliant plan to not only locate a live feed of the stage version of Arlo Guthrie’s “Alice’s Restaurant Massacree”, but also to see how many times it could be played in a workday. My co-worker Carrie seemed to think this was a fine idea (at the time)so plans went underway to explore this theory of musical genius. It held promise, I felt, and wondered if such a task had been attempted before. I must look into this. But not now.

18 times.

From the hours of 9am to 4pm, we listened to Alice’s Restaurant 18 times.

There has to be some kind of health hazard involved in this.

Keeping in mind the song is 22 minutes long, you can somewhat grasp the enormity of this experiment. That is 396 minutes. People were fascinated. Coworkers would inevitably wander up to my desk at random parts of the day to see if my resolve was unscathed. It was like watching someone insert needles into their eyes…they couldn’t understand it, but were nonetheless morbidly fascinated.

My resolve has never before been so intact.

Of course this 70’s folk music-themed tirade was fueled by several cans of Red Bull which contributed greatly not only to the successful completion of said undertaking, but also to the growing intolerance that my coworkers were developing — not only of the redundance of Arlo droning on in the background but also of my ever-increasing hyper state. I have a feeling the packing tape was looking disturbingly appealing to them.

But in the end a good time was had by all and though we may not have had a Thanksgiving dinner that couldn’t be beat and no one got arrested, we did have a rather amusing Thursday that seemed so uncannily like a Friday that we dubbed it as such. Though we immediately realized that work-week karma was sure to take effect which would inevitably result in a pretty shitty Friday, but we seem to have lucked out and have what would appear to be two Fridays in a row.

This is a good thing. You know you’re jealous. Foo’s.