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I can understand how Scissors can beat Paper.
I can also understand how Rock can beat scissors.
But there is no f*ing way that Paper can beat Rock. I mean, what, is Paper supposed to magically wrap itself around Rock rendering it immobile? Why the hell can’t Paper do that to Scissors? Actually, screw Scissors…why can’t Paper do this to people? Why aren’t students being constantly suffocated by random sheets of 8.5X11″ wide-ruled notebook paper while they’re taking notes in class? I’ll tell you why: because Paper can’t beat anybody…a rock would tear that shit up in two seconds. When I play Rock/Paper/Scissors, I always choose Rock. Then when somebody claims to beat me with their Paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, “Oh shit, I’m sorry. I thought Paper would protect you, you asshole!”

voulez-voulez-vous i win.