The story so far:

There are algae in my Brita pitcher.

I inadvertently uploaded every song on my hard drive onto my iPod so at the moment it is spewing forth a great deal of rubbish.

The printer is on a hiatus while my co-worker is trying to print out payroll so he, too, is spewing forth a great deal of rubbish.

Laundry must be done today as I was reduced to wearing hiking clothes to work.

The phone is incessantly ringing with sales calls which I instantly put on hold and let sit unattended to, no doubt causing the sales reps to question their career choices.

In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

I keep sneezing. And it’s not even Thursday yet.

I may have to take Doppler to the dog park today. If I don’t, I fear his cabin fever might take hold to such an extreme he’ll go all Menendez-brothers on me and the landlord will find him feasting on my rotting flesh with Petri laughing maniacally in the background.

Ok. That was a bit messed up.

Sneezing again. Still not Thursday.

Continuing to overuse sentence fragments for effect.
(Oooh…perhaps some parenthetical statements for good measure…and some ellipsis for pizzazz…!)

We need to take the blog away from me now. I’m going so far as to abuse verb tenses.

Voulez-voulez-vous a vouler tu nous sommes moi vous? Merde.