>you are here —>

you definitely know you spend too much time at the computer when your theories about the human mind can be explored by the acknowledgment of a couple of shortcut keys.

allow me to explain.

(sidenote: this concept relies heavily upon the “if you could be anywhere in the world right now…” cliche, so bear that in mind.)

So I’m at my desk at work, and my coworker/partner-in-crime Carrie is still visiting her sister in Chicago (yeah, as if her sister is more important than me. Even if it is her birthday) and since Carrie and I are pretty much the only ones who occupy that particular space in the office, when she is not present, it gets pretty damn lonely. And boring.

One can learn a lot about themselves in prolonged fits of loneliness. Like, the five different types of loose-leaf teas i have in Ziploc baggies in my desk drawer look completely similar to something not even remotely resembling tea in its purpose of consumption. (Non-sequitur, I realize, but hey, welcome to my life.)

Loneliness breeds boredom which in turn can foster some pretty radical thinking. As I sat there, lost in a sea of emails and medical charts, flipping back and forth (Alt+Tab) between my Outlook window and my Firefox browser (say it with me: Wikipedia is my friend), something (Alt+Tab) occurred to me.

I’m at work.

Alone. Don’t wanna be here. Hell, I’m bored. Kinda sleepy, too…tea is definitely not supplying my caffeine needs…no one to talk to…nodding off…fighting heavy eyelids…



Dude…what? Damn it’s bright…uh, sweet! I’m not at work, but where…oh, wait…it worked! Brilliant! Uh, dude…that ain’t right, I mean, are you serious…whaddahell??? Shit…look out…that’s a whole lotta not-goodness over there…how many Alpacas is that, anyway?? Are they supposed to be stampeding animals? Oh, this is gonna be BAD…this is – this will only end in tears, I just know it. What the bloody hell am I supposed –


Umph…huh? *snort* huh. Where was I? Oh, yeah…



Of course the possibilities are endless with this theory, and does not necessarily have to involve a mass influx of hooved animals, unless you’re into that sort of thing, and if you are…uh…damn.

voulez-voulez-vous you kinky perv.

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